From: Jens Schmidt (hfmxljz.dpqkaob@edcom.no)
Date: Sat Apr 01 2000 - 16:52:54 EEST
NEXT TIME YOU TAKE DRUGS, TAKE THOSE YOUR PSYCHIATRISTS PRESCRIBES !
"Barrett, Peter G" wrote:
>
> > VIRUS WARNING
> >
> > If you receive an e-mail entitled "crazy times" DELETE IT IMMEDIATELY AND
> > DO NOT OPEN IT!!! Apparently this one is pretty nasty. It will not only
> > erase everything on your hard drive, but it will also delete everything on
> > disks within 20 metres of your computer. It demagnetises the stripes on
> > all your credit cards.
> >
> > It reprograms your ATM access code, messes up the tracking on your VCR and
> > uses sub-space field harmonics to scratch any CDs you attempt to play or
> > use. It will re-calibrate your refrigerator's coolness settings so all
> > your ice-cream melts and your milk freezes. It will reprogram your phone
> > autodial to call only your mother-in-law's number.
> >
> > This virus will mix antifreeze into your fish tank, drink all your beer,
> > leave dirty socks on the coffee table when you expecting company and it's
> > radioactive emissions will cause your toe jam and belly button fluff to
> > migrate behind your ears.
> >
> > It's molecular reconstruction capabilities will cause your shampoo to
> > become depilatory and your depilatory to become napalm and your cologne or
> > perfume to smell like dill pickles, all this while it will be dating your
> > current partner behind your back and billing their hotel rendezvous to
> > your Visa card. It will cause you to run with scissors and throw things in
> > such a way that is only fun until someone loses an eye. It will give you
> > cancer of the season ticket and Dutch Elm Disease.
> >
> > It will rewrite your backup files, changing all your active verbs to
> > passive tense and incorporating undetectable misspellings that grossly
> > change the interpretations of key sentences.
> >
> > If the "Crazy Times" message is opened in a Windows 95 environment, it
> > will leave the toilet seat up and your hair drier pugged in dangerously
> > close to a full bathtub. It will not only remove the tags from all your
> > mattresses pillows and towels but also refill your skim milk with whole
> > milk and replace all your luncheon meat with Spam.
> >
> > It is insidious and subtle.
> >
> > It is dangerous and quite bloody terrifying.
> >
> > It is also a rather interesting shade of mauve.
> >
> > Regards
> >
> > Bottle, M. (VK6PEC) =8-b
> >
> >
> >
This archive was generated by hypermail 2b29 : Sat Apr 01 2000 - 04:55:31 EEST