From: Barrett, Peter G (cpns.tmnexas@rocketrange.no)
Date: Sat Apr 01 2000 - 02:55:14 EEST
> VIRUS WARNING
>
> If you receive an e-mail entitled "crazy times" DELETE IT IMMEDIATELY AND
> DO NOT OPEN IT!!! Apparently this one is pretty nasty. It will not only
> erase everything on your hard drive, but it will also delete everything on
> disks within 20 metres of your computer. It demagnetises the stripes on
> all your credit cards.
>
> It reprograms your ATM access code, messes up the tracking on your VCR and
> uses sub-space field harmonics to scratch any CDs you attempt to play or
> use. It will re-calibrate your refrigerator's coolness settings so all
> your ice-cream melts and your milk freezes. It will reprogram your phone
> autodial to call only your mother-in-law's number.
>
> This virus will mix antifreeze into your fish tank, drink all your beer,
> leave dirty socks on the coffee table when you expecting company and it's
> radioactive emissions will cause your toe jam and belly button fluff to
> migrate behind your ears.
>
> It's molecular reconstruction capabilities will cause your shampoo to
> become depilatory and your depilatory to become napalm and your cologne or
> perfume to smell like dill pickles, all this while it will be dating your
> current partner behind your back and billing their hotel rendezvous to
> your Visa card. It will cause you to run with scissors and throw things in
> such a way that is only fun until someone loses an eye. It will give you
> cancer of the season ticket and Dutch Elm Disease.
>
> It will rewrite your backup files, changing all your active verbs to
> passive tense and incorporating undetectable misspellings that grossly
> change the interpretations of key sentences.
>
> If the "Crazy Times" message is opened in a Windows 95 environment, it
> will leave the toilet seat up and your hair drier pugged in dangerously
> close to a full bathtub. It will not only remove the tags from all your
> mattresses pillows and towels but also refill your skim milk with whole
> milk and replace all your luncheon meat with Spam.
>
> It is insidious and subtle.
>
> It is dangerous and quite bloody terrifying.
>
> It is also a rather interesting shade of mauve.
>
> Regards
>
> Bottle, M. (VK6PEC) =8-b
>
>
>
This archive was generated by hypermail 2b29 : Sat Apr 01 2000 - 03:10:14 EEST